‘I was so young, I did not even understand what getting married meant’

Usha is 18 years old and an 8th grade student at Sandipani Muni School. She has been with us for the last nine years. She is one of six sisters; her elder sister, 21, is already married with two babies and the younger siblings (aged between 7 and 16) are all Sandipani Muni School students. We spoke with Usha about her thoughts and experiences of girls getting married at a young age.

SMS: We know that a lot of girls in the local community who are the same age as you are already married. Is there a reason why you choose to stay at school for longer?

Usha: Actually, the reason I am not yet married is because I have attended Sandipani Muni School since I was 9 years old, and Rupa prabhu (the director) and the teachers here tell us that it is better for girls not to get married so early. When I was 14, my father wanted me to get married and found a groom for me. But Rupa prabhu…

- here we interrupted her to ask if she knew anything about the would-be groom.

Usha: No, I have never met him. But my parents met him and his family and arranged the marriage. Then they announced it to the whole family, including me.

SMS: Can you remember how did you feel about that? Were you perhaps happy, or scared, or just curious?

Usha: I was so young, I did not even understand what getting married meant. I never thought about what would happen after the wedding, and just accepted whatever my parents choose for me.

SMS: So why did the wedding not go ahead?

Usha: One of my older cousins told Rupa prabhu what was happening, and him and the teachers talked to my father and persuaded him to cancel the wedding. This is why I am still at school, and why all my younger sisters are studying too.

SMS: Now that you are older, do you think it is better that you did not get married then?

Usha: Yes, I think it is much better for a young girl to study then to get married. After you are married, you will have your own children and have to look after the house and cannot stay at school. For the rest of your life, you have to make a living by carrying out menial tasks for other people like washing their clothes and dishes and cleaning. If you are educated, you have the chance to get a different type of job and to educate your own children as well. My ambition is to study at least until the 10th grade and complete the board exams.

SMS: Are you worried about your parents choosing another groom for you soon?

Usha: My father promised to Rupa prabhu that he will not arrange another marriage for me without first consulting me and, if I am still at school, then my teachers as well. He will do the same with my younger sisters. We are all very happy to be at the school, have a lot of friends here and are doing well in our studies. We are very grateful to our sponsors, and Rupa prabhu and all the staff for making this possible. Without them, everything would have been decided for us and we would never have had the chance to have a say about our future.