Save Our Girls

The terrible practice of child marriage is still very common in Vrindavan. Girls as young as 13 are forced to become brides of older men and to become mothers when they are still children themselves.

Children who are victims of child marriage, child labor, and other forms of abuse are forced into adult roles at an early age. They have to shoulder very heavy family responsibilities, and in the process they miss out on having a proper childhood.

For these children, life prospects are bleak. They do not have the chance to develop their potential skills and in later life are unable to find decent work. They are confined to the most degrading and exploitative work, in conditions so hazardous that they generally do not live long. They pass this fate on to their own children – perpetuating the cycle of poverty that afflicts so many today. When they reach the age of puberty, with no notice from their parents, they are taken out of school and sometimes are never seen again.

We have lost over twenty five girls to child marriage.

The four girls above are Phoola, Radharani, Shiphali, and Kakoli (left to right) that we lost to child marriage.

When Kakoli left school, we had a long talk with her parents, and we asked them if they wanted their daughter to complete her studies and to have a better life. Her parents said nothing, but Kakoli said, “We are poor and we will always remain poor”. After two hours counselling her parents their conclusion was unchanged “If we marry her now (she is 14) we will only have to pay 5,000 RS or $100 dowry, but if we wait for a few more years the dowry will cost us 50,000 RS or $1,000”. We even threatened to report them to the police. The mother answered, “Then we will go to jail for our daughter.”

Mithun was taken out of school and married in 2004. She was hardly 14. In the same year she had a miscarriage, and soon she was pregnant again. She gave birth to a baby boy in December 2005 

Phoola from Sundrakh Village, about 3 km from Vrindavan, was taken out of school in 2004. She was 13. When we heard that she was getting married we informed the police and they stopped the marriage. Two months later I saw her in her village and I asked her if she was married, shyly, with her head down she said “Yes”.

In the summer of 2003, Shuda, and her younger sister Radha, went with their family to their village, and they never came back. When we asked the parents what had happened they just shouted at us. They said, “Go away we do not want to talk”. Later we heard from some villagers that the girls had died.

We started a school bulletin board, dedicated to the girls we have lost. Since that summer, it has been filled beyond what we ever would have imagined with photos of girls, their eyes shining with hope and expectation, who have been obliged to leave us. (We published a detailed report on child marriage on our Spring, 2006 FFLV report).

What have we done to fight this problem? We have tried many things. Several times we reported families to the police (in India, marriage below the age of 18 is not allowed by law), but that has not been a deterrent.  

We hold parents’ meetings to impress upon them the importance of educating their daughters. When we admit children, we have the parents to sign a paper that states they will not marry their daughter until she is 18. But the deep-rooted attachment to child marriage is very hard for these poor parents to break! It has been their custom for many generations and transformation will take time. The sad reality is poverty. These people get up in the morning focused on how to satisfy their basic daily needs, such as food and clothing. It is very hard for them to envision the potential of their children’s future.

This is a fight against a formidable enemy ― IGNORANCE.  
But we have come up with an idea that can win over ignorance. That is ― AN INCENTIVE SYSTEM.

An interview with Usha, a girl saved from child marriage. (Click to read)

One of the major reasons for child marriage is that the younger the child is, the smaller the dowry needs to be. The dowry for a twelve-year-old girl is about $50, whereas for a girl of eighteen, it is $500. One reason for the dowry is that in this society, women become part of the husband’s family and do not inherit anything from their own family.  

We have launched a program named “Save Our Girls” in order to combat this social evil. We are asking that sponsors give an extra $5 a month for each girl sponsored. So, instead of $30 per month, a person will give $35. This will give us an extra $60 a year, which will be placed in a special bank account. When the girl reaches the age of 18 and has completed her studies, that money will be given to her.

So, a six-year-old girl will take twelve years to finish her studies. This means a saving of $720, plus 5% bank interest. It is certainly a desirable sum and will be enough for a dowry, higher education or anything else the girl wants to use it for. If the girl is taken from school prematurely, the money will stay in the bank account and will be used to help other girls who finish their studies and reach the legal marriageable age.  

We are inviting anyone who is sympathetic to this problem to donate toward “Save Our Girls” to benefit the immediate and most needy cases. Particularly, we ask the sponsors of girls to add a little extra to their child’s monthly adoption. This will benefit their sponsored girl only. We are confident that many of you will take this proposal seriously and will help us make it a reality. Click here to sponsor a girl today!

Unwanted

In spite of recent social and economic progress, female children are still considered a liability by many Indian families. The practice of aborting female foetuses is widespread, and the United Nations Children’s Fund estimated that up to 50 million girls and women are ‘missing’ from India’s population because of termination of the female foetus or high mortality of the girl child due to lack of proper care (source: http://www.swayam.info/). The main reason for this is that while sons are expected to stay with their parents and contribute to the family’s income, girls usually marry and leave home, and their parents have to pay for wedding expenses and give a dowry to the groom’s family. We at Sandipani Muni School understand that we do not have the capacity to tackle such complex and deep-seated social issues, not even at the local level. But we are determined to help the community by educating as many girls as we can, to give them and their future children the best possible chance in life – to raise the status of women and to break the cycle of poverty. To do this, we rely on donations.

To change the life of a girl click here.